A sinister plot to ease the pension crisis has been discovered by our Westminster mole.
Following the recently failed badger cull, some of the shootists are still under contract
to the government. The shadowy halls of Whitehall are going to ask them to fulfil their
contract, but not with badgers. Their target, it can now be revealed, will be pensioners,
particularly younger ones, those who pose the greatest threat to the government coffers,
with their expected long lives.
The Hitler Potties
A secret hoard of Nazi porcelain has been discovered in an hitherto, hidden,
underground warehouse in Hamburg. It was uncovered during excavation work to lay the
foundations for a new municipal sewage works. The collection consists almost entirely of
chamber pots and is believed to be Hitler's personal collection.
Wheels of Power
Following an intensive investigation, RSPCA inspectors and police have uncovered a scandal
involving thousands of hamsters bred to supply electricity for one of the leading power
companies in the country.
Guide Dog Conspiracy
A retirement home for dogs in Eastbourne is the subject of a very bizarre murder investigation.
The owners of the home became suspicious when three guide dogs were admitted in quick succession.